Monday, February 23, 2009

Essential Oils

Hey there-

Most of you know by now that I am writing a book.

Many of you know by now that I have been working with essential oils for about 12 years.

Few of you know that I am developing a website that will offer my therapeutic grief oil blend, a concoction of 5 different essential oils specifically chosen for their benefits for those people who have experienced a great loss. I call it Embrace......Embrace bath oil, body lotion and body oil.

I started working with essential oils when I lived in Portland. I use them at home for both mental and physical health reasons and I helped start an aromatherapy program at the Adult Day Center where I was the social worker.

My boys believe that gargling with tea tree oil is the best treatment for a sore throat, lavender is the only treatment for cuts/scrapes, and have never known a bath that didn't include essential oils specific for their current situation. (lavender, marjoram, chamomile or eucalyptus to name a few)

Essential oils are the pure oil extracted from the plant and their chemical make up can assist the body physically as well as psychologically. (the olfactory nerve is connected to the limbic system in the brain which controls our emotions). They can be absorbed through the skin or inhaled through the nose. (yes, I inhale.........does that mean I can't run for president?)

Essential oils are a simple and beautiful way to assist a person to embrace the process of grieving. I believe embracing grief (being grateful for it?) is the only way to be able to fully purge it and live beyond it. I don't know what I would have done without my essential oils after Bob died.

I will let you know once the website is fully functional. It better be before April when I will be going to Dallas to give a presentation on the use of essential oils with grief and loss at the Association of Death Education and Counseling conference. Ahhhhh!

I will keep you posted.

Thanks for checking in-


Walk It Out Reminder

Hey there-

For anyone local (Milwaukee area) and interested in my support group, Walk It Out, we are meeting this Saturday at 9:30 in the morning at the Hart Park Senior Center. We will walk along the river.

For more information check out the December blog titled "Walk It Out".

We walk snow or shine so dress accordingly. Brrrrrrrr.....

Thanks for checking in-


Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bragging Rights

Hey there-

Love is a many splendored thing.

Loss is a many layered thing.

Not as catchy I know, but true all the same.

Bragging rights, not an issue that makes it on many sympathy cards. But a loss that I still struggle with.

When Bob died I lost my bragging rights.

Gone are the days of excitedly sharing each milestone as if our child were the only one in the world to have accomplished this miraculous event. (OK, I know every child gets teeth) There is no more full out, guilt free, no comparison, bragging about what the instructor said about our talented child. (OK, most kids learn to swim)

Every parent thinks their child is the most amazing person to ever grace the earth, and every parent deserves another person who completely and totally agrees with them. Grandparents can be a close substitute but there is always the other grandchildren that are equally amazing (according to the grandparent anyway).

Friends and step-parents can try to listen valiantly but there is always the opportunity to sneak in the "I remember when mine......." comment that takes the wind out of any bragging moment.

Bragging about one's children is a self absorbed event and a right every parent should be able to do freely in the privacy of their own home. There are so many things I want to brag about regarding my children. (who are the best and brightest children ever to walk the earth-obviously)

But with Bob gone does anyone else really believe me?

Thanks for checking in-


Monday, February 9, 2009


Hey there-

How is the book coming? The most frequently asked question.

What does Mike think of all this? Close second.

The answer to the first question is the book is falling into place. I think I might see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The answer to the second question is my second book will be called; "My Sainted Live Husband".

Thanks for checking in-


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Hospital Scene

That doctor obviously didn’t know about our plan.

Someone get her back in here and tell her our plan.

Where did she go now? Could we stop her? Take back Bob’s chart. Just forget the whole thing.

Bob and I sat on that hospital bed surrounded by blood pressure cuffs and IV poles. There were sounds of people scurrying about just outside the door. At any minute one of those scurrying people could barge in unannounced and poke or prod Bob with something. Tell us something else we didn’t want to hear.

We sat there like that for a time, like kids who had been scolded and handed a punishment that is way too harsh for the infraction. Our legs dangled off the sides of the hospital bed. I absently kicked at the mud and dead grass stuck on my shoes from our excursion to the park earlier, Bob was back in his hospital slippers.

“So, we are hoping for lymphoma?” I eventually asked Bob.

I had come to the conclusion that lymphoma was the least offensive option for us.

“Well, we’re hoping it’s benign,” Bob said thoughtfully.

I inhaled quickly, trying to keep my heart from leaping out of my chest. It was currently somewhere in the region of my throat.

That was the beginning of our two different journeys.