Saturday, October 30, 2010


Hey there-

I had a vision.

Not a premonition, a vision.

I was making our bed earlier this afternoon. It was a gorgeous fall afternoon with bright sun filtering through the yellow and red leaves of the maple tree in our front yard. I glanced out the freshly washed windows (I kid you not, that was not just for dramatic affect, I had just washed the windows) and saw a most beautiful scene on my neighbors front yard. One of those moments that you wish you had a camera but you know that all you can do is take a snapshot of this vision in your mind and try to hold it there, just the way you are seeing it that moment.

I know it is corny but a Billy Joel song often roles in my head during these moments .....this is the time to remember because it will not last forever, these are the days to hold onto because we won't although we'll want to....... vision.....

There was Henry, in a work apron, literally awash in reflected light from the droplets of water that were spraying out of the hose he held and, oh so carefully, aimed at the silver bike that was suspended in the air from our neighbor, Matt's, red bike stand. Matt stood behind Henry giving him guidance. Both of them seemed to have an air of reverence about them regarding the work they were doing on the bike.

The bike belonged to Bob when he was about Henry's age. The aunts (not to be read ants, as in red or black ones, but read awe, as in the aunts are awesome)grew tired of lugging the thing from one side to another in their garage (bikes were much heavier in the 70s!) and I saw it leaning against their garbage can the other day.

Henry and I were not ready for the bike to meet its demise.

So we saved the bike.

Henry pumped up the big fat tires and then Matt helped him tighten gears and handlebars and the rock hard seat and shine up the rusty chrome. Matt pointed out where the tire rim was dented.

"Your dad must of liked a little rough and tumble riding," he told Henry.

It was all so perfect.

A beautiful day, a shiny bike, a good neighbor, a proud son, fresh sheets.

It doesn't get any better than that.

I just had to share the vision, it was too good to keep to myself.

And who would appreciate this vision before me more than the aunts?

People tell me the greatest gift Bob left me was the boys.

And the boys are great.

But the greater gift Bob left me with might be his family. To have people to share the boys with who love them as much as I do, people who have known them since before they were born and love them unconditionally, that is a gift.

And what about neighbors who take your child and nurture an interest in them selflessly and with passion and care? That is a gift.

As I stood staring out the window and telling Aunt Kathy about this beautiful vision I was reminded of the renewed faith in community that I had during Bob's illness and following his death. I am pleasantly surprised to find out that six plus years later I still feel that way.

After Bob died I could not envision a ten year old Henry fixing up his dad's old bike on the neighbors front yard. I certainly could not envision watching a scene like that with a light heart, full of joy and appreciation for the moment.

My community has expanded in ways I could never have imagined six years ago. I have new neighbors, new friends, a new husband.

My community, old and new, my life, is so much more than I could have envisioned six years ago.

Thanks for checking in-


Sunday, October 24, 2010

One Woman Wedding

Henry selling the books!

Mike's daughter Aubrey (in the middle) and two of her friends working the bar and pouring the chai!

The launch party was amazing! Thanks to the help and creativity and organization and assistance of my family and friends the evening was a huge success.

I will never have a night like that again.

Thanks for checking in-


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Launch

Hey there-

Well, tomorrow is the big launch party for my book, yea!

An event I have been anticipating for three years. Yes, three years.

My parents arrived yesterday and two of my sisters arrived today and we spent the day creating yellow and black center pieces for the tables. They look awesome! Thanks Kathy!

I am very excited and nervous and hope I can simply enjoy the moment.

Wish me luck.

Thanks for checking in-


Friday, October 1, 2010

Early Thanksgiving

Hey there,

Thanksgiving has come a bit early for me this year.

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, even as kid.

I love the tradition of gathering over a good meal and being thankful. No presents required.

As a child I had little concept of the work that went into the meal. The preparation and planning and cooking and organizing and timing. The effort it takes getting beautiful fresh food on a nicely set table with colorful gourds, sweet treats, rich wine, and lively conversation, all at the same time, with the hot dishes hot and the cold dishes cold, is an art, truly.

And then people sit down at the table and consume the meal in ten minutes.


I am experiencing a similar sensation now that my book is finally live. My family called all last weekend excited to tell me they had finished the book. Some had stayed up until the wee hours in the morning and some had read it in an afternoon, but all were done.

It took me three years to write and publish that book and folks were done in an afternoon?


I guess I am glad people are finding it a "page turner". It's not as if I thought it would take anyone three years to read..........

Thanksgiving is not all about the meal. It is about being grateful for your life, the good and the bad. Thanksgiving is about living mindfully, being appreciative of what is around you. Even if the meal ends in ten minutes, a person can hold on to the good intentions of thanksgiving all year long.

I hope the same for the book. People might read it in an afternoon, but my hope is that we all can take some of the messages in the story and carry them with us as we proceed.

Embrace life, in all its ambiguity.

Thanks for checking in-