Saturday, November 15, 2008

How is the book coming?

Hey there,

"How is the book coming?" It is a question I hear frequently.

That is what you get when you tell all your friends and family that you quit your job to write a memoir about your dead husband. Talk about incentive.

I ususally say something lame like; "Well, I keep writing." or "It is going well." Then I launch into some version of my "vision". I talk about self publishing or walking support groups or the use of essential oils with grief or grant applications.

So, how is the book coming? It is going well. The experience thus far has been way more challenging (and rewarding?) than I could have imagined. I grossly underestimated the time it would take to write one chapter (4 months!) and how hard it would be to find that time. Plus, living through all of these dark emotions again has been difficult at times. (and the 5 children.........)

Sometimes I am not sure what is driving me to do this project. There are times I feel placed back in that time and I feel all of the anguish and despair, maybe even more acutely now than I did back then. I am less hardened now, not bracing myself for the next blow. But, this has been an amazing opportunity to see the events of Bob's life and death with clearer vision, in writing, and make some sense out of them.

There are times I feel as if I am observing this woman's life and I ache for her. And there are times I am jealous of her. And there are times I feel so grateful for my life now. And there are times I think "Why does anyone care?"

In the end I feel that this is a story that should be told. I have something to say.

So, "How is the book coming?" you ask.

It is coming along.

Thanks for checking in.



  1. Although Dan and I had heard the story about the boys talking so matter of factly about their Dad's death during the toilet training conversation, it literally took my breath away to read what you wrote! I was in the van with you and could see their little faces and ALMOST feel your heart aching! I am so grateful to be able to kind of be on the sidelines of this journey of yours! You are truly a gifted writer!

  2. This story should be told. And you are the only one who can "remember when" and tell it from that perspective. Your boys will treasure this story for a lifetime