Thursday, February 12, 2009

Bragging Rights

Hey there-

Love is a many splendored thing.

Loss is a many layered thing.

Not as catchy I know, but true all the same.

Bragging rights, not an issue that makes it on many sympathy cards. But a loss that I still struggle with.

When Bob died I lost my bragging rights.

Gone are the days of excitedly sharing each milestone as if our child were the only one in the world to have accomplished this miraculous event. (OK, I know every child gets teeth) There is no more full out, guilt free, no comparison, bragging about what the instructor said about our talented child. (OK, most kids learn to swim)

Every parent thinks their child is the most amazing person to ever grace the earth, and every parent deserves another person who completely and totally agrees with them. Grandparents can be a close substitute but there is always the other grandchildren that are equally amazing (according to the grandparent anyway).

Friends and step-parents can try to listen valiantly but there is always the opportunity to sneak in the "I remember when mine......." comment that takes the wind out of any bragging moment.

Bragging about one's children is a self absorbed event and a right every parent should be able to do freely in the privacy of their own home. There are so many things I want to brag about regarding my children. (who are the best and brightest children ever to walk the earth-obviously)

But with Bob gone does anyone else really believe me?

Thanks for checking in-

Irene

5 comments:

  1. I brag about my amazing wife quite a bit.... That counts for something.

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  2. Irene,

    I can only imagine how your honesty and ability to articulate this layer of grief must be such a gift to others that have experienced the loss of a spouse...

    "Every parent thinks their child is the most amazing person to ever grace the earth, and every parent deserves another person who completely and totally agrees with them."

    It also serves as a reminder to those of us that haven't lost our bragging partner, that this is a gift to be cherished.

    Thanks for your words and how they affect me.

    Molly

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  3. Helle and I are looking forward to WALK IT OUT this weekend! 2/24, 9:30am right?

    Also, how can I purchase some EMBRACE essential oil lotion for a friend dealing with loss???

    Talk about "layers"... I love that initial cleansing scent of lavender and how it evolves with the linger of sandalwood and cypress.

    I'm feeling grounded and strengthened! Love it and want my friend to benefit from it as well.

    Thanks!

    Molly

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  4. Hi Irene,

    Shelby at Stella's gave me the link to your blog and I just wanted to post to "introduce" myself. I'm another young, Tosa widow. I'm enjoying your blog, although I've only had the courage to read a couple of entries. Take care.

    Mary Pluta

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  5. Mary,

    Thanks for checking it out.

    We "Tosa Widows" should start a club.

    Come to my walking support group, all the info about it is on the blog; "Walk It Out".

    Take care-

    Irene

    ReplyDelete