Thursday, December 9, 2010


Hey there-

Last night it was just me and my two boys for dinner.

In the middle of slurping up one long piece of spaghetti Henry began obsessing about making a mistake on the cello during the Christmas concert next week. Stating how horrible a mistake would be and how it would mess up EVERYONE in the whole orchestra.

Henry has a tendency to catastrophize his concerns. (word stolen from the mom on Modern Family. Meaning making a catastrophe out of small worries)

In an effort to calm his fears I asked him if a mistake would be the worst thing that could happen.

"Yes," he answered, very seriously. "It would be the worst thing that could happen."

"The worst thing that could happen, really? THE worst thing? You can't think of anything worse that might happen?" I continued valiantly.


Hmmmmm....I was hoping for some perspective. You know, he could break his leg or our house could burn down, or Mike could lose his job. There are so many worse things that could happen than making a mistake at your 4th grade Christmas concert.

When he brought up the concern of everyone watching him I even tried to burst his bubble and explain that no one would be watching him other than me and his Aunt Kathy because everyone else will be looking at their own child. So, no worries.

Didn't help, he was still freaking out.

Then Arthur chimed in; "You know, Henry, we have already had the worst thing happen to us." His eyes got all shiny when he said this and his brows crinkled up, he looked so sad.

Yes, here we go, some perspective coming from the 7 year old. Don't worry about messing up at your Christmas concert because the worst thing has already happened to us, Daddy died.

To Henry's blank stare Arthur responded; "Aunt Peg died......remember........"

Aunt Peggy (great Aunt Peggy to them) died a few weeks ago. While it was sad, I did not consider it the worst thing that could happen, she was in her 80s and all.

Not exactly the perspective I was hoping for.

Then I realized that Arthur knew Aunt Peggy better than he knew his dad.For Arthur Bob is more of a mythical person, as real to him as Santa Claus.

Now that is perspective I could have done without.

Makes me want to believe in Santa Claus.

Thanks for checking in-



  1. Oh, ouch. Thank you for sharing your story as it unfolds. It's these kinds of glimpses into life + x years that helps put what we are going through into perspective, and make us feel less alone in the journey.

  2. That hurts...last week I was driving my kids somewhere and a little voice came from the back of the minivan, "Did I really like my Dad?" was 6 year old Bobby, and it's only been 15 months since his dad died. I knew he would remember little, I just wasn't prepared for him to forget so soon....