Friday, June 17, 2011

Beautiful Dreamer

Hey there-

The other morning Henry came out of his bedroom and went to the cupboard in the kitchen looking for breakfast. His shoulders were bent forward and his head was hanging a bit and he didn't answer his usual "Good" when I asked him how he slept.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I had a dream about Dad," he told me. Then he started sobbing, big shoulder shaking sobs.

Upon questioning he couldn't remember much of the dream.

"But I remember the emotion," he cried.

I attempted to comfort Henry by telling him my belief is that when you dream about the person who is dead it is the person visiting you, checking in, saying hi. So dreaming about Dad should be a happy thing. As I explained this theory to Henry I omitted the part that I never dream about Bob, never.

Last week Mike came downstairs one morning and told me he had a dream about Bob the night before.

Going with my theory, that is a little weird.

He said that Bob and I were together talking about the boys summer haircuts that Mike had given them and how much he liked them. Bob didn't say anything to Mike in the dream, no thanking him for helping to raise his boys or any encouraging words. Apparently Bob and I simply hung out on the back porch and watched the boys and their short hair run around for a while.

Rude. I thought to myself, but maybe I'm just bitter that Bob seems to be visiting everyone else in their dreams but me.

"He seemed very happy with the hair cuts, I think the fact that he's happy with what we're doing was implied," Mike said.

Very generous of Mike I think.

Well, if Bob visits anyone else out there in their dreams be sure and send him my way. I wouldn't mind if he came by and said HI.

Thanks for checking in-



  1. Hi Irene,

    First, thank you for this post. I've thought it to be very strange that I have only dreamed of Kevin about 4 or 5 times in the almost three years he's been gone. I sort of attributed it to my belief that there is no God, afterlife, angels, etc. That, maybe because I don't believe in life after he won't 'visit' me in my dreams. The few I had of him were not happy dreams.

    Secondly, it's awesome that your son/children talk to you about your late husband and can express their feelings openly to you. I have four teenagers and they won't say his name, talk about him, reminisce via his photos, or visit his grave. They don't express their feelings and it worries me. I hope that some day they will feel comfortable doing that. Maybe they never will. They get that from their dad :)

    I'm trying to get to Camp Widow again this year. Hopefully I'll get to see you and Mike again.

    Be well.

  2. Jennifer- I hope you do make it to Camp Widow!

    I am so happy about how easily my kids bring up their dad and how supportive EVERYONE involved is regarding this issue. My in-laws say they let me take the lead......I think it has more to do with my kids ages at the time of their dad's death. They were so young and nothing stopped them from saying what was on their mind whenever it was on their mind.

    I do hope this will evolve with your children because I do think talking about it is better, but you can't force things.

    "Let my name be ever the household word that it ever was. Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of shadow on it." by Henry Scott Holland

    Love that poem!

    Be well as well-